An intention was put to me by Butterfly to consider moving forward with a new beginning. To look forward to being something new and different, maybe. To let go of my past roles and image, to a point, and find the new role I must play. And to empower transformation.
With this intention, I started to think about scouting and alcoholics anonymous and military ranks and academic degrees and job titles and politics and salary scales and even youth transitions. I realize all of these, and more, involve a gate that one passes through to a new level, be that skill or age or accomplishment. It is initiation. It is promotion as society dictates.
Society’s promotional process has been around since the beginning of civilization, mainly because there is something about it that works… for good or bad. We each want to be recognized by our peers and by society for our accomplishments and when we are, we are empowering (hopefully) each other to move forward with purpose and confidence. We have become accustomed to equating recognition with success, although sometimes accomplishment seems to be lacking. The process from a societal standpoint does, many times, promote elitism and bigotry and arrogance and even fascism. And it is responsible for many atrocities in this world. And this can be a pitfall when we work with Butterfly to apply the promotional process to our personal being.
With this intention, what I will call a “personal promotional process”, I wonder if there might be a way to harness this on a drastically more personal level to facilitate issues of insecurity and assist with empowerment for my own well-being. And, of course, to improve my own emotional and spiritual growth.
So, within my journey-state and meditation and prayer, I follow this thought and idea. I move inward and see myself standing upright, with chin high. I imagine myself with a prideful gaze… not in a negative or judgmental sense, but in an empowering and confident manner. I stand upon a stage with the shadows of my Self, both past and future, standing with me as witnesses. No one else is here… just me and my Self’s.
I reflect upon the role I have been playing up until now and see this position within the robe that I wear. It is a green robe. It is a little worn and it has definitely served me very well. It is not unlike the Caterpillar. Then the shadows of my Self move up and behind me to remove this green robe. I watch as they carefully and respectfully fold it and honor it. Then they move behind me again and place on my shoulders a very clean and pressed orange robe, which feels unfamiliar and a little scratchy. An emotional moment touches me and I wonder if I deserve this honor. In this vision, I close my eyes briefly, maybe even holding back a tear. I recognize my accomplishments and I recognize that I am crossing this line into more responsibility. And unlike society or cultural or peer promotions, here I am advancing within my rank because I accept that I am ready for more.
This promotion has zero to do with how I rank versus others in my life… and that must be an important part of this. I have gained this new rank because I have completed a previous goal and I am ready for what comes next, not because others think I am ready. And with this promotion I am now empowering myself to be something more.
Then I hear all of my other Self’s clap and cheer. I bow and maybe even blush a little. It’s time to wear my new robe and to move into a new role full of promise and service.
This is my journey
— Nate Long “Owl”
Pen and ink with digital manipulation