Not mine, not the fire’s
But the third spirit is ours;
Safe in sacred light.
To own something is not to possess it. To truly own something is to enter into a “relationship” with it, assuming the obligation to care for it. Possession, by contrast, is an act of control that denies the other’s own needs and desires.
This insight came to me during journey work. A fire appeared, and through it, I began to understand what it means to be a firekeeper. There wasn’t just the fire’s spirit and my own; there was a third spirit: the “entity created by our relationship”. This triad is crucial for safety. When the firekeeper tries to possess or dominate the fire, the dangerous imbalance is a consequence of neglecting this third entity. Ownership, then, is a shared responsibility: the fire, the firekeeper, and the spirit of their relationship must all work together.
The same principle applies to a drummer and their drum. The drummer’s spirit, the drum’s spirit, and the spirit of their “shared relationship” together hold the drum’s true power. When a drummer simply possesses the drum, treating it as an object, the drum’s power is diminished. But when the drummer recognizes the drum as a partner, then the relationship itself is born with honor, and the healing potential is vastly expanded.
This understanding extends to all parts of our lives. A job is not something an employee or a company possesses; it is a mutual relationship that both parties must own and nurture. Even our most intimate connections with a partner, friend, or pet are strongest when we recognize that the relationship itself is a spiritual entity.
This spiritual entity of “Relationship” is what connects and holds everything together. While humanity often struggles to recognize it, the natural world lives and survives by it. A tree, the grasses, and the squirrels in its branches live within this truth without question, understanding instinctively that their very survival depends on this third, unseen spirit of the relationship.
This is my journey
— Nate Long “Owl”